How we speak and express ourselves influences how other people perceive us. A lady has to speak eloquently and thoughtfully to sound elegant. To connect with people, and express her grace and intellect, a woman with an elegant mindset has to learn the basics of how to act or speak in social situations. These are our expert tips for how to sound elegant.
How To Sound Classy & What Not To Say or Discuss
Being able to find the right words to say in any situation, and being articulate, can sometimes be difficult tasks. While some people were born with a “talent for speaking”, and naturally acquired this ability from their environment, others, like myself, have had to work hard and invest time and effort to become eloquent and to speak elegantly. Read on to learn about proper conversation etiquette.
1. Taboo Topics
Let us get the most obvious item out of the way. Classy women do not openly discuss taboo subjects in polite society. Taboo subjects include sex, politics, diseases, religion, and anything else that can rub people the wrong way or sensitive topics.
2. You are Going to the Bathroom
It is no one’s business if and when you need to use the facilities. Just excuse yourself from the conversation and discreetly disappear.
3. Money Matters
There are times when you absolutely should talk about money like with your spouse or if you are being undervalued at work. However, in polite company do not talk about topics related to money. Money is a very sensitive topic and is best kept private.
4. ‘Give Me That’
Saying ‘give me that’ is rude and abrupt. You can still ask for someone to give or hand something to you, but you have to actually ask. Blurting ‘give me that’ is demanding that someone give something to you and elegant women do not make overt demands.
As humans, most of us want to have sex on occasion. Openly discussing how you need or want to have sex comes off as desperate and aggressive. It’s not a good look when a man says it either. It is off-putting no matter whose mouth it comes out of. Be a little mysterious and not let everyone know your business.
6. Asking ‘What Do You Do?’
Many people do not hang their identity on what they do to earn money. Additionally, what if their main occupation is not in vogue? Or what if they are in a very lucrative field? Asking this question seems innocent on the surface, but it can open the door to making the mood awkward. This also comes off as nosy and opportunistic, two things that elegant ladies certainly are not. Let people share that information only if they want to by not forcing them to answer your awkward question.
7. Your Unsolicited Opinion
No one likes when someone insists on giving their unsolicited advice or opinion. That is annoying, even on the internet. We all have a right to have an opinion and you are allowed to voice it if you so choose. You do not have a right to be upset at the people your unsolicited opinion has irritated. Some things are best left unsaid.
8. Brag or Boast
Talking about all the things you have, who you know, the far away places you have been to an audience that you know does not have or has not done those things is one of the most classless things you can do. This will almost guarantee that people will dislike you. They will be more impressed with who you know and what you have when that information reaches them organically.
9. Something Insensitive to Cultural Differences
Do not say something negative about a certain country, especially if you know someone you are talking to is from that country. People can be very protective of their country and culture. If you disparage a place that is dear to them it will leave a bad taste in their mouth.
The same thing goes for sports teams, beverage choices, sartorial decisions, and anything that is indicative of a specific collective or culture. Classy women take care to leave conversations in a positive light.
10. Ask for Professional Advice
When you meet someone who is a doctor, lawyer, or accountant do not ask them for medical, legal, or financial advice. They get paid to do that so do not corner them into giving it to you for free. If you are truly in need of their advice ask them if you can book a consultation.
11. Be Confident
Confidently delivering your message is sometimes just as important as the message itself. If you sound certain and assured, you will come across as more charismatic and well-spoken. On the other hand, if you sound unsure and doubtful, you will not be able to convey your intelligence and expertise, and therefore, your elegance.
Building confidence is an ongoing journey; it is not something that can be learned overnight with a set of rules. Much like elegance, confidence is a state of mind that we have to constantly work towards.
12. Adjust Your Tone
The tone of our voice is just as important to expressing our personality and ideas as using the right tone of color is to an artist. In fact, it is more substantial than our words and second only to our body language. We could choose the right words to say and pronounce them perfectly, but without the proper tone, something would still be missing. The words might be misinterpreted, and our message might be lost on the audience.
Your tone of voice is an essential element in your day-to-day communications. If you tend to use a pessimistic or accusatory tone, make the effort to change to a more optimistic and positive one.
Also, you can modify your tone of voice to fit the situation or occasion. Use a soft tone to bond with others during intimate conversations and relationship building. Choose a motivational tone when you want to lead or inspire people in business or personal settings. And, use a friendly tone to engage and attract those around you. To speak eloquently, mix various tones to create the desired effect and avoid sounding monotonous.
Breathing deeply and appropriately is pivotal for enunciation. Not only does it bolster your confidence, but it also allows you to regulate your voice while you speak. When we are stressed, we have a tendency to inadvertently tense our muscles and breathe more shallowly and rapidly. As a result, our body becomes more stressed, and we might lose control of our vocal ability while speaking.
Slow, steady, deep breaths will improve your confidence, vocal control, pitch, and overall tone significantly. The concept is simple: you have to breathe deeply into your belly, not just your chest. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly, and breathe deeply. As you inhale, you should feel your rib cage expanding, but your belly should expand even further. With a little practice, ‘correct’ breathing can become a habit that helps you be confident and speak eloquently.
14. Do Not Use Filler Words
People use filler words to some extent in their speech for many reasons. We may use filler words when we are trying to think of the right word to say, if we are discussing a difficult or unfamiliar topic, or if we are unsure of our arguments. Sometimes, we use a few uhs and umms to let our conversation partners know that we are going to keep talking. Even though there is nothing wrong with using filler words occasionally, using them excessively can make you sound unconfident, which takes away from your eloquence and elegance.
If you have noticed that you are using too many filler words when you are talking, these tips can help you stop.
- Pause – There are times when a short moment of silence is preferable to an “Umm”. Many successful orators use pauses and silence to their advantage, be it for a dramatic effect or to demonstrate their ability to command an audience’s attention. It is also beneficial to get comfortable with taking pauses to collect your thoughts and choose the right words.
- Slow down – Talking too fast is a bad habit. By slowing down when you are talking you will be able to think about the rest of your sentence as you are talking. If you know what you are about to say, you won’t feel the need to use a filler word.
- Use short, clear sentences – Long sentences are not needed to speak eloquently. Actually, the more complex the sentence is the more likely you are to use filler words.
- Think before you speak – Again, if you know what you are going to say before you start talking you will not feel the need to use a filler word as you are trying to collect your thoughts.
15. Read More
If you want to improve your eloquence and sophistication over time, you need to make reading a part of your everyday routine. Reading widely on a variety of topics is one of the best ways to become more knowledgeable and articulate. You can read anything, from novels and essays to historical documents and blog posts about things that interest you.
Reading on a regular basis can help improve your vocabulary, expand your horizons, improve your grammar (assuming that the reading material is of sufficient quality), and hone your creativity.
You might not see a significant change immediately after reading an extra book or article, but in the long run, you may notice the impact that reading has had on your wisdom, your ability to speak eloquently, and your overall elegance.
How To Sound Elegant
To sound elegant you need to be mindful of what you say and how you say it. We can certainly express ourselves and we do not have to agree with everything going on in the world. However, there is a time and a place to discuss these things in a way that will not be awkward or combative. There is always a way to say something elegantly. Think before you speak. Subscribe to our newsletter for more elegance tips and to get the latest in fashion, beauty, and home decor. Start living your best, most luxurious life.
How To Sound Elegant: 10 Irksome Things Classy Women Never Say | The Lady Loves Living
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